Socrates Triple Filter Test For Gossips

Testing for Gossip

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.
One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”
“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied.
“Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?”
“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth.
Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it and ...”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not.
Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness.
Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true.
You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of Usefulness.
Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really …”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good or even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

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Peace of Mind

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers. This was in the initial days.

While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples:

“I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.”

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water and, right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid.

The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!” So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.”

After about half an hour, Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake. This time he found that the lake had absolutely clear water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, “See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be ... and the mud settled down on its own, and you got clear water! Your mind is also like that. When it is disturbed, just let it be... Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.”

What did Buddha emphasize here? He said, “It is effortless.” Having 'peace of mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process. When there is peace inside you, that peace permeates to the outside. It spreads around you and the environment, so much that people around start feeling your inner peace and grace.

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Man Picks Up An Old Lady In His Cab. But He Wasn't Prepared For This.

Share this amazing story with your friends and family on Facebook and other social media.

                                      

           

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Key To Happy Ending

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7 meaningful touches every husband should use to reach for his wife

• The human touch has powerful benefits to both parties — physically, emotionally, physiologically, and even spiritually. Studies have revealed innumerable benefits. Here are 7 meaningful touches every husband should use to reach for his wife.
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• I recently called to check on my father who wasn't feeling well. After talking for a few minutes, I asked about his wife (not my mother). They've enjoyed a wonderful relationship for 45 years of marriage. He said, "She is doing well, sitting here holding my hand."
  I must admit, I thought of that as a Hallmark moment — a seasoned couple sitting in their cabin on a mountain in Arkansas still in love and holding hands.
  The human touch has amazingly powerful benefits to both parties — physically, emotionally, physiologically, and even spiritually. Studies have revealed innumerable benefits. Unfortunately, some men have allowed their hands to withdraw from reaching for their wives. Here are seven meaningful touches every husband should use to reach for his wife.
  1. Reach for your wife first thing in the morning. It may be a gentle pat as you're getting out of bed or a hug when you first see each other but reach for her before you get busy with the day.
  2. Throughout the day, a text or quick phone call is a great touch of affection that will go a long way in letting her know she is on your mind. A simple, "I love you." or, "Just thinking about you and looking forward to the evening."
  3. Write a note the old-fashioned way. We're so tech-savvy these days that sometimes an old-fashioned approach is more meaningful.
  4. Whether your wife loves flowers, chocolate or shoes, sending these on "regular" days rather than typical celebration days will be a huge touch.
  5. Save some energy so you can give your wife special attention when you return home. Embrace her warmly and greet her when you first enter the home.
  6. Hold her hand at random times — driving, walking or just sitting at home.
  7. Give her a back rub.
  Bonus Touch
  I want to add one more to the list that is a real standout, and it will take your relationship to another dimension.
  Pray with and about her. Pray for her dreams while praying in agreement with her. This may take you out of your comfort zone, but I promise you this will be a game changer in your spiritual walk and leadership with your wife and family.
  Reach out and touch your wife. The benefits are immeasurable.

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Imagine: Animals Treating Us The Same Way We Treat Them.

These thought-provoking pictures show a powerful role-reversal between humans and animals. Their aim is to help more of us realize that ALL living beings deserve the same kind of love and respect.

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5 Powerful Ways to Brighten Life’s Darkest Times

If you’ve read the news or watched television, you’ve certainly seen some dark moments. Living in the United States, we’ve seen our fair share of tumultuous times. In just the last decade, we’ve witnessed two wars, a recession, racial conflict and upheaval, government ineptitude, mass shootings, terrorism, and multiple other crises.

Suffice to say that our world is, well…troubled.

While the majority of us begin and end the day with positive intentions, there is no getting around the unavoidable: bad things can happen. In many of these circumstances, these events are beyond our control. We simply find our bearings and persevere.

That being said, do not underestimate the positive impact you can make. You can make a big difference in a world that desperately needs it. This doesn’t require large sums of money or a news camera…just a willing heart and mind. With a collective effort, we can leave the world in a better place than when we entered it.

Here are 5 ways to bring light to the world when it needs it most…

1. Give your time

Time is our most precious gift that we can give. Time is highly valued, it is limited, and it can be used to truly better the lives of others. Many of us struggle with the demands that are placed on us…work, family, academics, and etc. However, volunteering isn’t something that needs to be put off until we “have the time.”

There are many volunteer organizations that operate on weekends and you only need as little as one hour… a trip to the grocery store in exchange for bettering society. Not a bad deal.

If you need further motivation, consider this:

– Volunteers live longer and are healthier. “Health and longevity gains from volunteering come from establishing meaningful volunteer roles…”

– Volunteering establishes strong relationships. “Working alongside people who feel as strongly as you do about supporting a particular cause creates a path to developing strong relationships with others…”

– Volunteering is great for your career. “People who volunteer make more money, partially because the relationships people create while volunteering can be leveraged for financial benefit…”

2. Mentor children

If we want to create a better future for mankind and for our planet, it all starts and ends with our children. How we care and advocate for, educate, and prepare our children in heart and mind will ultimately determine humanity’s direction moving forward.

Are we going to care for our environment? Provide for the needy? Defend the innocent? Protect human liberty? Ensure equality? Promote peace?

All of these questions, among others, will be determined about how we prepare our children today. These are our future scientists, doctors, artists, educators and leaders who will answer these questions for us.

Mentoring a child is one of the most powerful things that we can do. Non-profit organizations exist that need capable, intelligent, driven individuals willing to step forward and provide guidance. There are many children who have been neglected, abused, and otherwise mistreated that need the positive influence of a responsible adult.

Men are especially needed. According to Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, seven out of ten children that need a mentor are boys; while only three out of every ten who mentor are men. A disproportionate number of these children happen to be of African-American and Hispanic descent who are in strong need of a role model to provide a path both in and out of the classroom.

3. Donate blood

How many opportunities will you have to save someone else’s life? If you donate blood, this becomes a very real possibility.

Medical emergencies are a fact of life. At some point, chances are that either you or someone you’ve met or known will need blood. Due to unforeseen circumstances such as accidents, sickness, natural disasters and other events, there is a demand for blood that often exceeds supply.

Consider these facts and statistics from the American Red Cross:

– Blood cannot be manufactured. Only donors can supply the need.

– Someone needs a blood transfusion in the U.S. every two seconds.

– 41,000 blood donations are needed every day.

– Just one car accident can require as much as 100 pints of blood.

– A single blood donation can save the lives of up to three people.

4. Broaden your perspective

So much negative energy is created in the world today, simply because of a narrow perspective.  How can we know where to direct our loving energy if we’re walking through life with the blinders on?

As the female artist group En Vogue once stated, “Free your mind, and the rest will follow.”  Turning a blind eye to another person due to their color, race, religion, spiritual views, or innocent private habits only creates a void in their heart and yours.  There is an equal chance for loving energy to fill the void – give it the chance it deserves by broadening your perspective of the world around you.  Through a broader perspective, you’re creating a ripple effect of positive loving energy that can have exponential effects.

Make a decision to learn about someone’s culture.  Show compassion and kindness for their lot in life.  Ask about their history, their family, or what makes them most proud.  Through understanding each other more, we can create world peace, true freedom, and benefit from many other windfalls of an expanded perspective.

5. Donate money (doesn’t have to be much)…

Of course, there are instances where money is needed for the benefit of someone or something else. Animals, charities, education, healthcare, memorials…these are just a few categories where a generous donor can have a big impact.

One of the most common misconceptions is that you have to give a significant amount to make any type of difference. This is categorically false. A small donation, even if it’s a few dollars, is a tremendous act of kindness that can make a difference.

There are many donation websites where you can find a cause to donateany amount. The world’s #1 donation website, gofundme.com, offers donations for nearly every cause from animals to “wishes” (generally non-emergency money raised for individual and family causes). There are no fees to sign up and just a small administrative fee of 5% for each donation (a $5 donation would be a 25 cent charge).

6. (Bonus) If you can’t do these things

If you find that you’re unable to do any of these things, there is always the opportunity to pray, meditate, or send positive energy into the world however you see fit.  Remember, all things physical come from the non-physical – so you can always, always, always send out positive, non-physical energy into the world any time you wish!

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It Seems Strange. But in Fact It Is Respectful.

Painted blood donors were the part of the parade in London to highlight the need of more and more blood donors. The NHS (National Health Service) said that London games and Championships has increased the need of more blood in hospitals, the blood is needed to provide good healthcare services to the visitors and the natives in UK. 

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5 Spiritual Lessons You Can Learn From Your Dog

 Did you ever realize that God spelled backwards is Dog? A dog, and most other pets as well, retain that godliness that many human beings are born with but often lose over time. Dogs are natural spiritual teachers. My neighbor’s dog, Sammy, has been a great inspiration for me. There are many spiritual lessons to be learned from animals. Here are just 5 of them…

Spiritual Lessons You Can Learn From Dogs

1. Tender Touch is Good for Your Health

We can learn from caressing our pets that physical touch is natural for us. We are naturally drawn to pet our pets. Even research shows that hugging is extremely good for your health. It instantly boosts oxytocin and serotonin levels. It is effective at healing sickness, disease and stress, lowering blood pressure; it reduces stress and anxiety, and can even improve your memory.

That tender touch makes you forget whatever you were thinking about and it elevates your mood and creates instant happiness. Pet your dog or cat or whatever pet you have. And if you don’t have one, try hugging your friends, your children or your partner a little bit more!

2. There is Only Now

How does a dog approach time? Well they don’t, at all. A dog is faithful, in peace, doesn’t worry about the future, nor does he think about the past. A dog is permanently in the now. A dog observes what is happening, and either becomes enthusiastic or he feels that it is time to rest his head on his paws and closes his eyes. We could do the same. We don’t have to have an opinion about everything that is happening in our lives. If we feel this is something for us to be enthusiastic about, fine. If not, we just relax and see what else we can observe that might inspire us.

3. There’s Nothing Wrong With a Simple Life

If we can enjoy the little things in life we are truly happy. It is not about what we own and who we know. If a dog sleeps well, is getting fed and somebody walks him, he is happy, truly happy. If we have good healthy food and get to take a walk outside, with or without our dog, we are getting closer to the essence of happiness. For me the biggest joy in life is enjoying the smaller joys.

4. Nobody is Perfect

All right, I probably should be more respectful to my neighbor’s dog Sammy, who has been an inspiration for my book Spiritual Awakening (the easy way). But Sammy has his imperfections too. He understood intuitively that he inspires me. Now whenever he sees me he jumps up and starts licking my face. I noticed that my spiritual mentor has his imperfections just like the rest of us: he is overweight and sheds, he has poor manners, talks out of turn… and he slobbers when he likes somebody! I realized that nobody is perfect, and Sammy is no different. I am thrilled that my teacher likes me but every time I see him I have to take a shower or change clothes.

Nobody is perfect, including spiritual teachers.

5. Play, Play, Play!

Dogs spend hours per day playing with no regard for time. The other hours they relax or wag their tails because they are happy, often for no apparent reason. I noticed that when I have a problem with something in my life, I am often taking things too seriously. If we can take things, and even our life, less seriously we would probably smile more. Maybe the greatest spiritual lesson we can learn from our dogs is to play more in life.

Play play play!

Source: Heal Your Life via Earth We Are One

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The Real Benefits Of Reconnecting With Nature

There is something incredibly therapeutic about a walk on the beach, a stroll through the woods or a climb to the top of a mountain. With all senses engaging the fresh air, sunshine and natural beauty of nature, both the mind and body become refreshed. These “good feelings” that come with being outside in nature have been the subject of many a study over the years.

Research acknowledges these “good feelings” and has found that time spent in nature does have a variety of positive impacts including a reduction in depression and aggressiveness. In addition, scientific evidence agrees that tense feelings decrease, and we are better able to handle stress and frustration in life when it comes our way if we are connected to nature. Professionals now refer to time spent outdoors as eco-therapy simply because it is so beneficial.

WALKING OUTDOORS

According to one 2007 study done in the Untied Kingdom, something as simple as walking in the park can reduce depression. The study had one group walk in a mall and another group walk outside. Of the group that walked outside, 71% indicated that they had a reduction in depression while 22% of those who walked inside felt as if their depression had increased.

Feelings of self-esteem were increased in 90 percent of those who walked in the park, and tension was reduced by 71 percent in this group, as well. The mall walking group reported only a 50 percent decline in tension and a 44 percent increase in self esteem. While walking anytime is a good habit, it appears, from this study, that walking outdoors, also known as forest bathing, has enhanced benefits.

VIEWING NATURE

Even just viewing nature has been found to have a positive impact. A 2009 study from the University of Rochester found that when study groups were exposed to nature pictures they chose to be connected to their community over gaining wealth and fame as a life aspiration. Participants who viewed urban photos chose wealth and fame first. In the same study, researchers found that people who were exposed to nature pictures were more likely, than those exposed to city scenes, to share money with others.

SCIENCE DAILY REPORTED ON A STUDY DONE IN 2005 THAT FOUND PEOPLE WHO WERE ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN CONSERVATION PROJECTS REAPED SUBSTANTIAL HEALTH BENEFITS FROM THEIR PARTICIPATION. THESE BENEFITS INCLUDED A GREATER SENSE OF CONNECTEDNESS, FEELINGS OF WELLBEING AND REDUCTION OF SOCIAL ISOLATION. TIME SPENT OUTDOORS DOING GOOD APPEARS TO BE A WIN-WIN SITUATION.CONSERVATION IS HEALTHY

‘NATURE DEFICIT DISORDER’

Richard Louv created the term “Nature Deficit Disorder” in his book Last Child in the Woods. Louv argues that kids are not spending nearly enough time outdoors today, and in turn are suffering from a number of negative effects from lack of time in nature. Amongst these negative effects are attention difficulties, obesity, depression, and diminished use of senses. Louv’s claims support research finding that detachment from nature has far reaching negative physiological effects. Parents are encouraged to spend time with their children in nature and to take part in outdoor recreational activities as often as possible. Building healthy habits young appears to be a pursuit well worth undertaking.

Thanks to In5D for this article

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What This Stranger Did To Help A Homeless Man Is Inspiring Others

When Alex Camarillo helped a Houston homeless man he never dreamed that his good deed would inspire so many.

Alex was out shopping for truck and went to get something to eat when he noticed Stanley Long asking for money and food. He invited Stanley to come inside the restaurant and eat with him. Over lunch he learned that Stanley had left his job to care for his sick mother, but when she passed away, he ended up on the streets.

Alex spoke with USA Today and explains that he helped Stanley because he knows what it’s like to be broke and just felt like he needed to help.

Alex shared a few pictures and what he felt about meeting Stanley on his Facebook page in the hopes of inspiring others:

“I told him join me, sit with me, and eat with me. He couldn’t believe it, this man and I had an intellectual conversation, smarter then some of my friends.. People stared at me as in why was I eating with a homeless man you would be shocked at how people were looking and whispering and pointing and some even taking picture… He told me his story and, wow, life takes wild turns.”

“I then told him I was going to buy him clothes and I did. This man showed me the true meaning of happiness and being grateful. All I can say fb friends, if you have been blessed please help those in need. I’m sure if you were in need you would want someone to reach out and help…Please lets Pay it forward! Together we can make a difference!!”

I’m sure Alex’s act of kindness was very much appreciated by Stanley. It’s inspiring to see someone step forward and not only reach out to someone in need, but also to encourage others to do the same.

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5 Exercises to Boost Your Mental Strength

Building mental strength is about regulating your emotions, managing your thoughts, and behaving in a positive manner—despite your circumstances. Mental strength involves more than just will power; it requires hard work and commitment. Growing stronger requires you to establish healthy habits, while giving up unhealthy habits that could hold you back from becoming better.  

It’s easier to feel mentally strong when life seems simple—often, true mental strength becomes most apparent in the midst of adversity. Choosing to build mental muscle is the best way to prepare for life’s inevitable obstacles.

Many exercises exist that can help you develop mental strength. Here are 5 to get you started:

1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs

We've all developed core beliefs about ourselves, our lives, and the world in general. Core beliefs develop over time and largely depend upon our past experiences. Whether you’re aware of your core beliefs or not, they influence your thoughts, behavior and emotions.

Sometimes, core beliefs are inaccurate and unproductive. For example, if you believe that you’ll never succeed in life, you may be less apt to apply for new jobs—and inadvertently, you may not present yourself well on job interviews. Therefore, your core beliefs may become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Identify and evaluate your core beliefs. Look for beliefs that are black and white, and then find exceptions to the rule. Very few things in life are “always” or “never” true. Modifying core beliefs requires purposeful intention and hard work, but it can change the entire course of your life.

2. Expend Your Mental Energy Wisely

Wasting brain power ruminating about things you can’t control drains mental energy quickly. The more you think about problems you can’t solve, the less energy you’ll have left over for more productive endeavors. Sitting and worrying about a major storm that’s headed your way won’t prevent it from happening. You can, however, choose to use your time and energy preparing for the storm.

Save your mental energy for productive tasks, such as solving problems and setting goals. When your thoughts aren't productive, make a conscious effort to shift your mental energy to more helpful topics. The more you practice expending your mental energy wisely, the more it will become a habit.

3. Replace Exaggeratedly Negative Thoughts with Realistic Thoughts

Although most of us don’t spend time thinking about our thoughts, increasing your awareness of your thinking habits proves useful in building resilience. Exaggeratedly negative thoughts, such as, “I can’t ever do anything right,” hold you back from reaching your full potential. Catch your negative thoughts before they spiral out of control and adversely influence your behavior. 

Identify and replace overly negative thoughts with thoughts that are more productive. Productive thoughts don’t need to be excessively positive, but should be realistic. A more balanced thought may be, “I have some weaknesses, but I also have plenty of strengths.” Changing your thoughts requires constant monitoring, but the process can be instrumental in helping you become your best self.

4. Practice Tolerating Discomfort

Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you don’t experience emotions. In fact, mental strength requires you to become acutely aware of your emotions so you can make the best choice about how to respond.

Sometimes it makes sense to behave contrary to your emotions. For example, if you experience anxiety that prevents you from trying new things or accepting new opportunities, try stepping out of your comfort zone to continue to challenge yourself. Tolerating uncomfortable emotions takes practice, but it becomes easier as your confidence grows.

Practice behaving like the person you’d like to become. Instead of saying, “I wish I could be more outgoing,” choose to behave in a more outgoing manner, whether you feel like it or not. Some discomfort is often necessary for greater gain, and tolerating that discomfort will turn your vision into a reality, one small step at a time.

5. Reflect on Your Progress Daily

Today’s busy world doesn't lend itself to making much time available for quiet reflection. Create time to reflect upon your progress toward developing mental strength. At the end of each day, ask yourself what you've learned about your thoughts, emotions and behavior. Consider what you hope to improve upon or accomplish tomorrow.

Developing mental strength is an ongoing process and there is always room for improvement. Reflecting upon your progress can reinforce your ability to reach your definition of success while living according to your values.

Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker and an internationally recognized expert on mental strength. Her new book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success(link is external), is filled with strategies and exercises to help you avoid those common pitfalls that can prevent you from reaching your full potential. 

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12 Step Recovery Crash Course

When we first visit the rooms of 12 step-based recovery, every catchphrase is new, every shared story seems brilliant, and every tidbit of wisdom is potentially life-changing. For newcomers our tools remain as bedrocks of why recovery works. For old-timers they serve as welcome reminders to stay vigilant and prevent complacency.

Here are the basics:

Meetings are not the program.

Meetings are a place to connect with other addicts, to share and hear solutions, and to benefit from the experience, strength, and hope of those who are getting it right. They are not a substitute for working a program. You cannot get from hungry to full by skipping the meal. Attend meetings to find people who are actively working to stay clean and sober. Pick their brains, find out how they do it, and follow their example!

Get a sponsor and work the steps.

The steps give us insight and awareness about our motives, patterns, and capabilities. They help us identify our assets and liabilities. They teach us to set healthy boundaries and attract positive relationships. It is helpful to find a sponsor you can relate to – someone with a similar vocational field, life experience, or hobbies. Call five sober supports every day for a week. At the end of the week, you’ll know who your sponsor is. Sponsors should be age and gender appropriate, to avoid confusion and mixed signals. Someone of the same gender is more likely to come from a place with which you can identify, irrespective of sexual orientation. (Please note that sex and gender are not synonymous, and that there are rare exceptions who manage cross-gender sponsorship successfully.)

Immerse yourself.

Make recovery your first priority, your mission, your job. Speaking of jobs, imagine if all you did at work was show up and warm a chair. If you don’t do your work, you lose your job. The same goes for your recovery.  Invest as much energy and focus towards your recovery as you invested in your active addiction. Work for it.

Engage in fellowship.

Embrace social activities and see how addicts in recovery can have fun. If you’re on a budget, invite friends over to do a craft project, or share a potluck meal, or watch a movie. Go to a park or beach and have a picnic. Work out together. Start a volleyball game. Check your local newspaper for free activities. Go to a pet rescue facility and offer to walk the animals together. Browse the book store or the library and compare books of interest. If you have a small social budget, go out for pizza, ice cream, or coffee. Go bowling, visit a museum, window shop at the mall.

Stay busy.

Addicts need structure. Whether you’re right out of treatment, or you’ve been at this a while and gotten off-track with your program, it helps to make a one-week chart of your time to see how you spend it – to identify patterns and gaps.

Find a service commitment.

Make coffee, stack chairs, mop, be a greeter, give smiles, give hugs, take a trusted servant position, serve on a subcommittee (Many subcommittees have only a one day clean time requirement.).

Stay away from people who use.

Recognize the people who are still sick and suffering and give them a wide berth. Unconditional love and acceptance means offering support. It does not mean allowing yourself to be taken advantage of or used. Delete their phone numbers and avoid places where they hang out.

Stay connected.

Get at least two phone numbers every time you attend a meeting and call them within 24 hours. It helps to make a note to yourself about what someone looks like, or what you talked about.

Stay honest, open-minded, willing, humble, and teachable:

Practice honesty in all things. Be open-minded to new ideas; stay teachable. Be willing to try new methods; don’t criticize suggestions until you give them a fair chance.

Fight the insanity.

In recovery, we think of insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Step work provides awareness of these destructive behaviors.

Pray.

If you don’t have a connection to a Higher Power right now, then take psychologist Alfred Adler’s advice and “act as if.”  A Higher Power is any power greater than you. It only takes two people to make a meeting, and that is a power greater than you. Start there. If that’s as far as you get, it’s enough.

Take responsibility.

Own your choices, your actions, and your feelings. Whatever happened in the past, it’s time to live in the solution. That means letting go of blame and moving forward.

Always look at your part in things.

Whether you’re the victim or the perpetrator, you are always a participant.

Examine your motives.

Are you coming from a place of love or a place of ego?

Don’t judge.

People who judge don’t matter, and people who matter don’t judge. Take your own inventory and let other people worry about themselves. Making their business your business produces expectations. Expectations breed resentments.

Pay attention to your negative emotions.

Face your fears through step work; ignore it and it will fester. Confront anger or it will consume your energy. Indulging resentments will prevent you from carrying or hearing a message of recovery.

Don’t pick up, no matter what.

If you plan to pick up a drink, a drug, or an addictive behavior, pick up the phone instead – BEFORE you use, not after. You can get through anything for ten minutes. It takes less time than that to reach out to someone who can help you get through the next 24 hours or accompany you to a meeting. A meeting is somewhere you can go for a whole hour and not use. If you can make it through that hour, you can make it through the next one.

Embrace the slogans.

Sayings achieve slogan status because they resonate with millions of people. When obsessive and compulsive thinking renders you incapable of good judgment, slogans might save your life with their simplicity and common sense.

If you want what we have, do what we do.

If you want everything to change, change everything.

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

When the pain is great enough, you’ll do something about it.

Whatever you place before your recovery, you will lose.

At most meetings, addicts and alcoholics share what works for them. You’ll also hear what doesn’t work from the people who have relapsed. A relapse happens long before you pick up. There are signs. When people in chronic relapse share at a meeting, they all say the same things: “I stopped…I haven’t…I didn’t…” I stopped going to meetings and reading the literature. I haven’t taken a service commitment or finished my step work. I didn’t call my supports. I fired my sponsor. This program is so simple, it’s almost idiot-proof, but not if we make idiotic choices. Having some clean time doesn’t mean we’re exempt from making poor decisions. Working a program means we develop the ability to identify our decisions as healthy or dysfunctional. Through working the steps and using the tools, we recover our lives.

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